Games You Shouldn’t Play With Your Significant Other September 26, 2013

This article is herby dedicated to help out all of the gamers out there in relationships.  While there are couples out there that choose to share their gaming hobby with each other, many of you may not and wish to change that.  I encourage you to share your gaming interests with your significant other as I think that communication is important in any relationship, but it may be difficult to find the perfect game to start off with.  That’s where I come in.

What you are about to read is a list of games which may be a bad choice to play with your significant other first.  I drew up this list based around two major factors,  First off, some of these games may leave a bad first impression for the gaming uninitiated, and the best thing you want to do is start off with something fun that both of you can enjoy.  The other issue is that some of these games, either through their themes or design, may trigger discussions in your relationship that you may not be willing to have just yet, and the last thing you want to do is have a possible relationship-ending argument over a video game.

1. Catherine – This game has been described by many to be the prototypical relationship sim, and it has a great story that tailors its ending to the choices you make throughout it.  However, lets face it the entire story of the game revolves around infidelity and the life decisions that people make, whether to settle down with the person they are with or to move on.  Kind of like bringing a date to a wedding, this may provoke conversations that you’re not yet ready to have, or could offend your partner.  However, if your partner is also a gamer, the questions that the game asks are a great way to get to know your significant other better.  Best to save this one for later on down the road.

2. Silent Hill: Shattered Memories – This game is designed to create a psychological profile on the player as they play in order to provide them with the most disturbing experience to them.  It does this by asking you personal questions or accomplish similar tasks as to what you would be given in a psychologist’s office.  While it has an interesting story with gameplay quite unlike what had previously been seen in a Silent Hill game, some of the questions that the game makes you answer may be questions that you are uncomfortable answering in front of someone you are romantically linked with.

3. Heavy Rain – I know that a lot of people have chosen this game to be the one they play first with their significant others as I have seen several Let’s Plays online for this game done by couples, or at the very least a much higher percentage of couples have done a Let’s Play for this game than I have seen for other games.  Needless to say, while I stress that this is a very good game to play if you’ve never played a game before, this may not be the right game for a couple to play as its subject matter deals with things that no couple wants to go through.  Over the course of this game, a son is killed in a horrible accident, which tears a family apart, and another son is kidnapped by a serial killer who you need to rescue.  How you choose to play this game is up to you, but just be aware you could disagree on how to play out several different scenes, and you may not like the decisions that your significant other made during a scene.  No matter what, there’s no game over, the game will continue and your decisions will stay throughout the rest of the game.

4. Duke Nukem Forever – I know this game did make my Top 10 Romantic Video Games list a few months ago, as I personally enjoyed it quite a bit but honestly, I’m pretty certain there were guys who may have ended up single over this game.  The biggest concern I have here is it has the chance of leaving a bad impression with the gaming uninitiated.  I personally can imagine many scenes in this game, ranging from Duke’s reaction to finding the Holsom Twins to Duke Nukem’s Titty City level as being a buzzkill to a romantic setting.  Not all games are like this anymore.

5. Any Fighting Game – This goes for any Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter, Killer Instinct, or Soul Caliber game.  While it may seem like a 2-player fighting game would be a perfect fit to play with your girlfriend, it in reality is a lose-lose situation.  On the one hand, your girlfriend may be inexperienced in fighting games, and you could be stuck with the dilemma of either losing on purpose to spare their feelings (and trust me, some people don’t like when you let them win on purpose), or defeat them and run the risk of them not enjoying the game, and not wanting to play ever again.  Your best bet is to let your partner learn the game’s mechanics fighting against the CPU first, and then challenge them once they’re comfortable with the game’s controls.  Once that happens, may the best player win.

6. Grand Theft Auto: Vice City – Okay, I know you’re probably asking why Vice City made the list and not any of the other Grand Theft Auto games, they all have violence, guns, foul language, drug references and prostitutes.  Two words, Dennis Hopper.  You’re probably not going to want to make a date completing the porn studio’s missions, they’ve got some really filthy writing.  Sure the dialog is hilarious, but it may just offend your significant other.  It’s best to wait on this one, and discover through other means more about your partner’s sense of humor before playing this together.

7. Phantasmagoria: A Puzzle of Flesh – This late-90s adventure game can get scary at times but more importantly it deals with some pretty dark themes like sex, infidelity and sadomasochism, things that shouldn’t be brought up lightly in a relationship.  If you are a huge fan of this game and you simply must play it with your significant other, I recommend doing what I did and just watching Spoony’s Let’s Play of it together.  It’s really funny and if your partner really likes it, then you can give the game a spin.

8. Metroid: Other M – While I personally enjoyed this game, I know that there were a lot of people who disliked how protagonist Samus Aran was depicted and you probably don’t want to be playing this game with someone who discovers they agree with that sentiment.  Players commented that she acted far too weak, a complete 180 from her depiction in previous Metroid games, like sidescrollers or the Metroid Prime series.  If you want to play a Metroid game with your partner, you’re better off sticking with them.

9. God of War Collection – This includes the first two God of War games remastered for the Playstation 3.  The main character of God of War, Kratos, is a character that sits upon every possible extreme.  He kills or has sex with whatever is in his way.  Many could consider him a deeply troubled individual, and others could simply consider him the ultimate bad-ass to aspire to.  This is not the kind of argument you want to have with your significant other.

10. Enslaved – This is a great game made by Ninja Theory which features fantastic graphics and decent gameplay.  The whole game revolves around the story of Trip. who is an incredibly intelligent hacker and Monkey, who is a big beefy brute.  In order to survive, Trip fits a slave headband onto Monkey’s head and orders him to do her bidding so they can both survive their way through a post-apocalyptic world.  Your significant other may find this offensive, specifically how it could possibly pertain to gender roles.  Now, I’ve intentionally avoided talking about gender roles in this article because not every relationship includes a man and a woman, but regardless you probably don’t want to provoke a discussion that has existed since the beginning of time just to realize you disagree over it.

So that is just ten of my picks on games you probably shouldn’t play with your significant other, specifically non-gaming significant others.  However, as your relationship grows with time, you may decide that you want to play these games, and there’s nothing wrong with that.  Next time, we’re going to be talking about some games that would work great to play with your significant other.  Stay tuned.